


Craving you, the hour is late

by noknockback



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Getting Together, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, hirugami is a sap and super in love with hoshiumi, set in their third year of middle school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:28:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23828356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noknockback/pseuds/noknockback
Summary: "Promise me that you won't freak out.”“Hirugami, don’t tell me… are you part of a criminal gang?”“What?”“Are you?”“Wha- no! Of course not!""Then?"“I think.. I think I like you, Hoshiumi."
Relationships: Hirugami Sachirou/Hoshiumi Kourai
Comments: 19
Kudos: 180





	Craving you, the hour is late

**Author's Note:**

> this took so long to get out because a) i kept writing it between online classes and b) when i did have the time i just fucked around on twitter then spent the last 5 minutes of my break actually writing. anyway i experimented with a new style in the middle so hopefully it's enjoyable!!
> 
> title is from desaturate by area 11

The bedroom is dark and quiet, the only sounds being their breathing and the faint hum of the air conditioning unit, whirring on to fill what would otherwise have been absolute silence.

Hirugami isn’t sure if Hoshiumi is sleeping yet. His breathing pattern sounds the same as it had been half an hour ago when they were still awake, but it’s not like there are any telltale signs of him having fallen asleep.. 

The two of them have been friends for more than a year now, and within that year they had both learned so much about the other. Even so, Hirugami is sure that there is still much he doesn’t know about the boy. He was constantly changing, evolving, making it hard for even Hirugami, who was almost always by his side, to keep up.

They had only been friends for a year, but somehow it feels like they’ve known each other for their whole lives. At least, that’s how Hirugami feels.. He can’t even begin to fathom a world without Hoshiumi Kourai, though he is very aware that there was a time before the two of them had known each other.

Before that meeting, his life seemed to be just a blackened and blurry charcoal stain of a mess, but the single gesture and the question asked helped to dust away the pain and reveal a promising, although not quite complete, artwork underneath.

_ “Why don’t you just quit?” _

Just five simple words in the form of a question, but they had the effect to change his whole world.

Both his attitude and outlook on life had been altered, lens focused and wiped clean to unveil that breathtaking scenery that was in front of him instead of a terror-filled jungle it once appeared as. It kicked away his self destructive habits and replaced them with efforts of self love and confidence, letting him stress over fewer things and stopping him from getting caught up in things that would have once driven him to anxiety.

“Oi, Hirugami.” 

The almost suffocating silence is abruptly broken by Hoshiumi’s call, startling him out of his reverie. “Stop thinking so hard. ‘s not like there's a test coming or anything. You can just sleep.”

The way it’s phrased makes Hirugami wonder just how much Hoshiumi notices about him, being able to link him not sleeping to being stressed out over something. He isn’t really wrong, per se, but the subject of his worries is something entirely different altogether.

“Sorry about that, Hoshiumi.” His words are muffled from the blanket that's pulled right up to his bottom lip. “Was I thinking out loud?”

“No, I could just sense that you were overthinking again. And don’t apologise,” Hoshiumi adds after a moment.

Hirugami hums softly back in acknowledgement, hoping he hadn't upset Hoshiumi too much. Although Hirugami had given up his self damaging habits a long time ago, the shorter is still very much concerned about him, always making sure that he was doing well and never slipped back into that pit of self hatred again.

There's more disruption of the serenity — sounds of clothes shifting against the futon come from his left, where Hoshiumi is. Hirugami spares a side glance and sees with the aid of the faint moonlight his friend facing him, eyes open and pupils blown wide. Even in such dim light, his eyes still look like the prettiest things in the universe…

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Huh?” He barely registers the question that’s asked, too busy admiring the way those eyes look in the silver glow. He focuses his vision and sees Hoshiumi staring right at him and wonders how he hadn’t noticed.

“Whatever you're thinking about. Do you want to talk about it?” 

Hirugami stays silent, expecting him to continue elaborating on a little more, on how he doesn’t have to talk about it if he doesn’t want to or something along those lines. But Hoshiumi ends there, so it begins to feel like more of an obligation than a question.

“I... “ 

He wonders if it is a good idea to tell him, given that the subject is directly related to Hoshiumi. 

He has thought about the multitude of outcomes before: Hoshiumi would be disgusted with him and yell at him to leave, Hoshiumi would be weirded out and start to distance himself from Hirugami, Hoshiumi would shrug it off but secretly judge him for it and would never look at him the same way. Or the best outcome, he supposes, since reciprocation was definitely out of the picture, is that Hoshiumi would be unable to share the feeling but accept him anyway and their friendship would remain intact. 

It isn't something that he’s discussed with anyone else before, seeing as how Hirugami doesn’t really have any friends apart from Hoshiumi whom he could spill his thoughts to. Talking to family is completely out of the picture; it would feel far worse to be shunned by your whole family than just your best friend. 

But the weight of the stare upon him feels like it's boring holes into him, as if his skin is being peeled away ever so slowly, little by little, picking away at the hard shell of a calm facade that he's practiced to near perfection, revealing that which was underneath: his innermost thoughts, the raw feelings which he harboured for the boy in front of him, 

The comfort of the blanket of darkness that shrouds them, the quiet nighttime sounds that are carried by the breeze and slip into the room through a crack in the windows. They give him some sense of security. The words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop it from happening.

“Promise me that you won't freak out.”

Silence. 

And then,

“Hirugami, don’t tell me… are you part of a criminal gang?”

“What?” It’s his turn to stare back with widened eyes.

“Are you?”

“Wha- no! Of course not! What would give you that idea?”

“I don't know. That’s something that would make me freak out.”

The tension in his shoulders starts to fade as his muscles relax. He feels his worry slowly dissipate away, as if washed from his skin by the cool air circulating around the room. 

Feeling a sudden sense of ease drape itself over him, like one of his mother's silk scarves she would wrap him in whenever it was cold to provide warmth and comfort, he lets his words flow out without any more reservation.

“I think.. I think I like you, Hoshiumi. And not in the friendly way.”

“You see me as an enemy?” The sudden exclamation that comes from him almost bursts the little bubble of calm that he's surrounded himself in. “As a rival?”

But the genuine confusion in his voice only serves to strengthen the strange tranquility that lends him the strength to carry on.

“No, I-” A smile finds its way onto Hirugami’s face, for whatever reason it may be. “In the romantic way.”

“Oh.” 

A single word. 

Hirugami expects his world to crumble, for the perfect atmosphere of the night to suddenly shatter, for cold sweat to coalesce into beads and trickle down his face, his neck, his back, for the silence to get so suffocating and strangle him right then and there.

None of that happens. The seconds tick by, the air conditioning whirs on, and his world remains as intact as ever.

“What does it feel like?”

“What?”

“To like someone.”

He pauses at the question. It's not something he expected, and it definitely isn't a rejection, though he can't be a hundred percent sure. 

What  _ does _ it feel like?

To love Hoshiumi...

The corners of his lips pull upwards as his eyes move to admire the phosphorescence of the glow-in-the-dark stars that are scattered across the ceiling.

Loving Hoshiumi is like a spring breeze on a summer day, like flames of a fire in the midst of a snowstorm, like rays of sunshine piercing through the sullen greys of nimbus clouds. 

It is the happiness he feels whenever they are together, the longing in his bones whenever they are apart, the jealousy that burns whenever someone else has his undivided attention. 

It is the tears and the smiles, the laughter and the weeping, that which gets him through his darkest moments and keeps him afloat when he feels like sinking. 

It is to have his name appear in his mind whenever the prospect of the future is mentioned, to have his thoughts of the present be perennially occupied with the image of him, to have his memories of the past almost always focused on their meeting. Under the mellow rays of the setting sun that bathed the city in shades of reds and oranges and yellows, overlooking rows and rows of houses with their backs to the stone wall and their minds on what was to come.

Hoshiumi is so intertwined in his thoughts, for he was the one who had the biggest impact despite his small stature He was the catalyst for change, was the cornerstone of his endeavours, Hirugami’s pillar of support, and at the same time was his ladder, the flight of stairs that he could climb up, the rope that pulled him up and up and up towards success. And yet he was also the anchor that grounded him, that forbade him from sinking into the depths of despair.

He was the North star that guided him whenever he found himself lost in a fog of confusion, of agony, of misery, of self loathing. He was the lighthouse that led him back to land, was the shore that welcomed him back with warm arms and tender touches. Always seeming to know what to say, whispering words of comfort and reassurance that there was somebody there for him, that  _ he _ was the somebody there for him. 

It was with that meeting that Hoshiumi had yanked Hirugami up and out of the ever nearing claws of desperation and fear and hatred, as it had  _ just _ grazed against his ankles to drag him down. Hoshiumi was the bright light that scared away his inner demons, like the flick of a switch that would turn on a bedroom light and destroy all fears of any monsters.

Hoshiumi was his light. 

But he wasn’t the blinding glare of stadium lights that hurt to look at, or the unbearable blaze of the afternoon sun. Hoshiumi was a calming glow that radiated warmth against his skin and diffused away into the air, like little strips of morning light that peek through his window shutters during sunrise, bathing the room in a gentle glow and stroking him awake with feather-like touches.

He’s wondered before if it was more of a familial liking that he held for Hoshiumi. Wanting to protect this boy, this  _ star _ that was shining, brimming, overflowing with so much potential. He wanted to protect him, yet he wanted to show him off to the world, for people to recognise his magnificence, and at the same time keep all of that to himself. For others to only be able to admire his skills from afar, and for Hirugami to have the whole thing to himself, to be the sole person who got to see that genuine smile and hear that raw laughter.

But he knows better than that. Hirugami knows that it is something more than the love one would show towards a family member or the mere desire to defend something from all evils. It was different from the way he felt towards his parents, different from the way he felt towards his dog (although similar in some respects, like how he would be willing to lay down his life for the both of them).

With Hoshiumi… 

With Hoshiumi, he wants  _ more _ .

More than what they had now, simple and plain friendship, platonic touches, gazes. He wants  _ more _ .

He wants to be able to engulf the boy in his arms, to cup his face and shower him in kisses, to feel his bare skin against his, to run his hands along the curve of his waist, his spine, his neck. To tangle his hands in that soft, white hair and pull him close, to knock their foreheads together and kiss the oxygen out of him, till they were both breathless and blue. To just be able to look at him at such a proximity and admire his features, his thin lips that were taken care of so well, his nose that would be speckled with freckles whenever the sun came out, his high cheekbones that would pull even higher whenever he grinned.

And his  _ eyes _ …

His eyes that were so unique, so special to him, that were lined with strokes of black that fused together into a point at the corners. Eyes that when stared into, seemed to hold an entire galaxy, an entire  _ universe _ of stars in them, eyes that were the very paragon of beauty itself. If he could, Hirugami would gladly let himself get lost in those golden spirals for hours upon hours, let himself be enveloped by the arms of the other as he submitted himself to the hypnosis of those eyes.

He wanted to call him  _ mine _ , to be able to say that he was  _ his _ .That he was lucky enough to come across this little star — no, that he was lucky enough to be  _ found _ by this little star on that fateful day, with tears blurring his vision as he let out an admission that he himself wasn’t sure was entirely true, and to be saved by the same star with just a few words, spoken with quiet nonchalance, but holding a meaning that changed his whole world.

Hirugami lets out a little amused huff through his smile.

_ How is he supposed to tell Hoshiumi all of that? _

“Loving someone,” he begins, “is wanting to be more than just their friend, to be intimate with them, to hold their hand and kiss them.” He feels his cheeks flush as he says this, an admission of how he’s been thinking of Hoshiumi.

“It’s not thinking about them every single second of your life, but knowing that they are the one you would go back to at the end of the day. You get butterflies in your stomach every time you see them and become hyper aware of everything when you go near them.”

“You feel happiest around them and always want to see them when they’re away, and maybe get a bit jealous when someone else catches their attention. ”

He pauses to think about what else he could say to convey his feelings for the other, but he must’ve stayed quiet for too long, because Hoshiumi takes this as an invitation to start speaking.

“Hirugami, I think… I think I might feel the same way about you, too.”

“Huh?” Any form of a coherent sentence dies on his lips as he hears this. He turns to face the boy, who’s looking up at the stars on the ceiling.

“I don't know how to explain it.” He shifts a little and raises his hand over his head, reaching out. “But sometimes I feel like that, too. I get jealous when you talk to other people, but I always thought it was because i wanted to be like you, to be popular and charming. I’ve also always wanted to spend more time with you outside of school and volleyball, I know that we hang out a lot already, but I want more _. _ And I’ve always wanted to hold your hand…” His hand stretches open like a cat flexing its claws, then clenches into a fist, then relaxes again.

Hirugami waits for him to continue, but the boy says no more. Once again, the room is dominated by silence.

_ Hoshiumi likes him back. _

The involuntary contraction of muscles tugs the corners of his lips upwards. 

So perhaps his worries were unfounded after all. Sure, there is still the problem of telling his parents and all, but that could wait. Now that he knew his feelings were requited, it feels like a massive load has just been shoved off his shoulders.

There's another sudden shift in the sheets as Hoshiumi turns to look at Hirugami, who does the same and lets their eyes meet.

“So, are we dating now?”

The question takes him by surprise, smile still on his lips but breath knocked out of his chest.

“If you want to, then yeah? We’re still young so-”

“Ok, great. I want to hold your hand and take you on dates and do all the things that couples do! Also can I call you Sachirou now?”

Again, he does not see that one coming. 

“Okay… then I’ll call you Kourai?”   


“Yeah!”

Hirugami smiles at the ceiling of stars. 

“Kourai… Kourai-kun.” 

It’s strangely pleasant, the way his name rolls off his tongue. It’s new, too; he’s never called Hoshiumi by his first name before. 

A thought pops up in his mind and the words leave his mouth before he can stop it. 

“I don’t think we should tell our parents, though.”

“Hm?”

“Nii-san and Nee-san always tease me about girls, and my parents haven’t even mentioned anything about dating, so… I’m scared they might stop us from doing this if they know.”

“Oh.”

Hirugami swallows dryly, wondering if he should have said that. Did Hoshiumi now think that he was embarrassed of their newfound relationship because he wanted to keep it a secret? He had read books where people felt that way when their partner refused to tell others of their relationship, but surely–

“I can still call you Sachirou, right?”

He makes a noise of affirmation. “Yeah, we’ll still be…  _ together _ … just not in public.” The thought of being together, as an actual couple, sends a strangely pleasant shiver down his spine.

There is more silence as the seconds tick by, but it’s comfortable silence this time, not suffocating like it had been earlier. 

“Sachirou?”

“Hm?”

“Can I hold your hand?”

There’s no reply, but Hirugami brings his hand up to his side to find Hoshiumi’s. He trails it gently along the boy’s wrist before slotting their fingers together.

“Your hand is big.” A passing remark as Hirugami revels in the feeling of clasping his hand, the warmth that it brings. He runs his thumb along the other’s skin.

“No, your’s is just small.”

The grip on his hand tenses. 

“Sachirou! Don’t look down on me just because I’m short!”

“I wasn't looking down on you, Kourai-kun. And your small hands are cute.”

“I-” A startled noise leaves his throat, bringing a smirk to HIrugami’s face. Does he not respond well to teases? 

It isn’t hard to imagine the pouting face of his fri-  _ boyfriend _ , cheeks flaming red and eyebrows furrowed as he defends his stance that being short is not a sign of incompetence nor ineptitude.

“Whatever, let's sleep now. Goodnight, Sachirou.”

Hirugami smiles and brings their intertwined hands up to his lips, pressing a tender kiss on the back of Hoshiumi’s.

“Goodnight, Kourai-kun.”

**Author's Note:**

> you can pry hiruhoshi hand holding out of my cold dead hands... jk you can't  
> come scream at me about hoshiumi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kouraing)  
> thanks for reading <3


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